gasp!

i lie awake at night, gasping for air.
sweating profusely, shaking uncontrollably.
my chest is bursting; my heart feels like it is exploding.
i try to think of the sky, sea, vast expanses of space, anything to calm me down.

i think of my family, my friends far far away, and strangely my new puppy.
wondering if i want them to see me like this.
wondering if i should even tell them of nights like these.
it seems unfair that they should worry so.

i open my eyes and close them gently.
i mentally count to ten, taking deep breaths after every digit.
miraculously, my windpipe starts to function properly.
breathing is not a task anymore, its coming to me naturally.

i smile in relief and chastise myself for actually thinking that these were my last breaths ever.
i'm such a drama queen.