Where do I begin!?

Getting back on track. Is awfully difficult.

I absolutely hated doing my honours year, which was probably why it dragged on for years (1 and a half actually). My friends, supervisor and any human being that attempted two or more conversations with me during the past year are sick and tired of me. Trust me, I KNOW how silly and dramatic I've been.

'It's ONLY a thesis, get it over and done with, forget about it, just write any damn thing, are you kidding me... are you STILL doing it?, there are bigger things in life, life is going to get worse, its just not ur thing, accept that you cant do it and move on, for goodness sakes...just do it!!!!'

...GARGH, my mind is still in a twirl.

I spent TOO long complaining about everything. Pinning the blame on everything and everyone else. Worrying endlessly about things going wrong and it was a case of forcing myself to go through with it.

Gosh. WHY was it so difficult to complete.

Maybe its because I'm a perfectionist. A crazy one. I need to know that things will be A-OK before throwing myself into something.

Maybe its because everyone expects too much from me. But that's a lazy lie. I expect too much from me. To the point that it paralyzes me when things don't seem right.

Maybe its because I'm a spoilt brat who needs to stop making excuses and just make things happen from now on.

I have a lot to learn.

Do we become wiser when we finally realize that we're not as wise as we thought we were?